Solutions for Childhood

I wouldn't assume to have reached any level of stability at twenty-five years. Paul Arden places me at the beginning of my Era of Success. Forty-fivers are trying to emulate my life, women want me and children look up to me. Still, I don't feel any better about myself than I did in high school. If shit hit the fan, though, I expect that I'd be able to cope with everything and still keep my composure. I could, for example, raise a kid on my own or get the help I need without destroying my ego. That is, I can cast off all my shortcomings at the drop of a hat IF IT IS REQUIRED OF ME.

My problem, then, is whether or not I will ever acquire such responsibilities through my own accord. It seems that I can narrowly avoid the most horrific future by remaining aloof. My actions create opportunities for responsibility but they have yet to force me into a role. I have a son but am not a father, I have an education and no career, friends without a community and a love that serves no ultimate purpose. Am I truly past the age of working towards someone else's dreams? I feel more prepared to sign a contract than face down the future with only my personal goals to run after.

Instead of being young and impressionable why not pick up a cross and bear it? Get passionate about eating or government, about the environment or education. Find a cause that nets you into a group and saves you from the toils of constant self-definition. Here I envy the European institutes that keep students in their area of greatest aptitude throughout high school, college and even into the real world. Why couldn't I have made choices to keep me closer to scholarship? Why can't I seek out my ilk even now?